A Long Time Ago

The notice finally came in today from Amazon: The Star Wars Triology is available on DVD. The notice wasn't a suprise, my apathy was. I had asked Amazon to notify me some time before Star Wars: Episode One was released. Now I don't know if I care about Star Wars at all. I think if they weren't the special editions I would order them. As it is, who knows. At least the price is really good.

Kevin Smith Goes Mainstream

MOVIE REVIEW: Jersey Girl
Successful music publicist Ollie (Ben Affleck) marries Gertrude (Jennifer Lopez) and they have a child...unfortunately Gertrude dies in childbirth. Ollie then loses his job by publically trashing Will Smith. Fast forward seven years to the future and Ollie is living with his father (George Carlin) and working as a street cleaner. How does Ollie deal with raising his daughter (Raquel Castro)? Can Ollie fall in love again? Will Ollie get his old life back? Do we care?

At it's core, Jersey Girl is a remarkably average romantic comedy. Kevin Smith is more in control with this PG-13 film, yet he still demonstrates the same lack of ability to direct actors. Most of the acting is average to poor. The exception to this is J-Lo, who comes off much better than she normally does. She's not in a lot of the movie, though. The plot is below average, dumb and predictable. The saving grace of the movie is the humor, which works in the way humor is supposed to work in a romantic comedy. Some of the sex talk was a little more than I wanted in a date movie, though. Two and a Half stars, watch it if you really need it.

Too Lazy to Write Full Reviews

Some quick movie reviews:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Excellent acting. Jim Carey proves again that he can be a great actor. The sci-fi elements are toned down to the point that this isn't at all sci-fi flick, it's a romance film. It's funny at times but not a comedy. The only flaw in the movie may be the tone, which is often neither funny nor sad. Three and a half stars.

Dawn of the Dead: Excellent action, moderately well constructed story. Unfortunately this movie suffers from being in the shadow of 28 Days Later, a film which is lower budget but generally superior. Technically this film is great, and isn't cheesy like most other modern horror films. The tone of the movie is too downbeat, almost soul draining. The movie also feel a little unsure of how it wants to end. Two and a half stars.

Lawrence of Arabia: One very big movie. Long too. Generally considered one of the best movies ever made, and that's not an unfair label. It was probably the most amazing technical achievement in cinema at the time it was released. It's hard to imagine a film being more beautiful. Due to the lack of modern special effects, nearly everything in the film had to be done convetionally. When hundreds of men on horse attack a city in this movie, the filmmakers just filmed hundreds of men on horses attacking a city. Acting and Music are great, and the story is interesting. If there's a flaw in the film it's that the movie never seems sure why Lawrence would act as he did. Maybe that's becuase Lawrence was never sure himself. I'm not sure I would like to watch this movie over and over again, but it is nearly four hours long. Four Stars.

Wasting my Time

I got a new Credit Card from Bank of America. I didn't ask for one, but they decided I didn't want a Mastercard anymore and sent me a Visa. They've been promising to do this to me for some time. Notifying all of the vendor that charge my card directly is annoying enough. But that's not enough for Bank of America.

Normally when calling in to verify your credit card all that is required is to enter your credit card number and the last four digits of your SSN. Bank of America decided to require a little more this time. After entering those numbers, you need to listen to a long speech about getting a free (sort of) credit report from Bank of America. After this speech, they ask you to press 1 for more information. If you don't, they give you the speech again in a different format and ask you to press 1 for more information. After you wait through that they have another offer for more information about total security protect. After all that is done you can finally press 2 and confirm your card. While I'm sure some Bank of America marketers thought it was a great way to sell to a captive audience, all it did was make me mad at the bank.

As an additional unrelated note, they included a little keychain size credit card. It's hard to see this as too useful. It's only worthwhile when:
A) I don't have my wallet but I do have my keys and I'm making a purchase that doesn't require an ID
B) It's just too much work to pull my wallet out and my keys are easy to get to and I'm making a purchase that doesn't require an ID

Now, it's actually not impossible that B could be true. But there's at least two big disadvantages:
A) My Credit Card number is on display any time my keys are out.
B) There's more encouragement for someone to steal my keys.

I can't see myself using the Mini-card now, but I'm not completely discounting the possibility.

Scared Sleepy

TV REVIEW: Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital
Stephen King's alter ego gets hit by a van. Then he goes to a spooky hospital with ghosts. Then spooky stuff happens. Then he gets miraculously healed. The end.

Since this is a two hour program, you might guess that there's more to the plot than that. In some ways you are right. There's a little girl with a bell, and a talking anteater, and a woman with psychic powers, and some doctors, and spooooooky visions. While we see many things, nothing significant happens. We're shown a whole bunch of characters but we have no reason to care about any of them. Really, I mean none of the characters are compelling. The characters given the most depth are just annoying. I don't want to see them on the screen. This show wants to be a combination of Twin Peaks and The Shining, but unlike either of those there's no mystery for us to solve. One and a Half Stars, Alternately dull and grating. Watch somthing more interesting instead.

Non-news story of the Day

CNN.com - Passion tickets bear 'mark of the beast.' Proof that Mel Gibson is the Anti-christ. This writer of this story couldn't even find anyone who cared; The best the writer has is a rumor of someone who cares. "I didn't feel the earthquake, but I talked to a friend who did."